In this day and age, when a man is interested in a woman, it seems that some men have lost sight of how not to completely freak out a woman who they’re interested in. From cheesy pick-up lines to guys at the gym staring like a pervert, or being downright disrespectful, I’ve seen it all. Yet, with the advancements in technology, it seems the depravity some men display knows no bounds. Then, of course, there is the male populace that does creepy things to women subconsciously, but the end result is the same. The man is home alone, and some poor woman is scared off for good. Not all men are creepers, but for those who may be, the following suggestions from women should help you avoid making further mistakes when it comes to the dating/courting game.
This first one I have seen first hand, and it is definitely cringe-worthy. A young man will be walking down a sidewalk or trail, will say hello to a young woman, and for whatever reason, the young woman will not smile. Then the young man replies with something along the lines of “What’s wrong? Smile, beautiful.” Aside from the fact that this is one of the cheesiest pick-up lines, it makes the man seem desperate. No confident, self-respecting woman wants to be with a man who appears to be desperate or insecure.
Next on the list is when a guy hits on a girl while she is working. Women who are at work are not likely to be interested in finding their next soulmate. Instead, they are interested in earning a living and keeping a job. One young lady, who goes by the handle @Whapwhaaap said, “Hitting on you at work, especially in a service industry role. I can’t get away from you. Part of my job is to be nice and polite to you. I can’t tell you to f** off, or I might get fired. I hated it when guys did this when I was a waitress or barmaid.” This can also apply to co-workers. Attempting to hit on the secretary from the administration office is probably a bad idea. Remember guys, if a girl is at work, or you work with her, and she is that interested in you, she will let you know.
Then there are those guys who think that women only fit into certain roles. Perhaps you meet a young lady who has the same interests or hobby as you. Well, just because you both enjoy the same activities does not mean she is available or even interested in looking for a date while engaged in a hobby. Keep in mind that the women are looking for a distraction, not a date. As @hploy points out, “Thinking that just because I have the same hobby as you that you don’t see many women playing (or doing), i.e., Overwatch, MtG, DnD, etc. that I must be prime dating material, and I don’t know what I’m doing.” This is especially prevalent in a gym where a guy might find it necessary to hit on a woman in a gym. Guys remember, if she wants your help, she will ask for it.
This next faux paux might earn a man a slap depending on the woman. One particular day while looking at her phone, @italyinsummer said, “The other day I was watching a video on my phone, and someone put their hand over my phone, so I had to look up. All he wanted to do was hit on me. No thanks.” This is not only an invasion of privacy, but it is extremely rude. Violating someone’s personal space is not ever cool.
Men, especially you young guys, need to pay attention to the body language a woman gives off. If you are attempting to talk to her, and she has headphones on, sunglasses on, or is simply preoccupied with some other activity like eating or reading, leave her alone. @Shinyruins told of an experience she had while riding the bus “Not taking the social cues that I’m not interested, I was on the bus last week reading a book with my headphones on and a guy actually leaned over and pulled them out. Reading a book/wearing headphones are like universal signs for ‘leave me alone.’ I gave him a dirty look, and he got all huffy as if I was the rude party.”
So guys, here are some key points to remember when you see a young lady that you are interested in. First, respect her personal space. This means don’t touch her or objects she is connected to. Second, when you go to your favorite pub or restaurant, hitting on the waitress is likely not going to help, and you will make yourself look foolish. Remember, it’s the waitress’s job to be nice to you. She is there to earn a living not score a date. Lastly, please pay attention to the body language and visual cues a woman is giving off. If she is not making eye contact, does not respond to your “hello”, or is attempting to run for the exit as fast as she can, it means she is not interested.
Guys behave yourselves and treat women with respect. Remember, you are talking to someone’s sister, daughter, mother, or aunt.